Today I am wearing the “fat clothes” given to me by my coworker Jessica. She has lost nearly 20 pounds now. What strikes me is that I never thought Jessica was fat. Was she anorexic model thin? No. But I would never have called her fat!
The reality that I can wear clothes that she wore when I didn’t even think she was fat, by extension does that make me non fat? I am feeling pretty great knowing that I am wearing the clothes of someone that I didn’t ever consider was fat. Am I finally getting kind of small?
I have never been able to gauge my physical size. Sure I know what size my clothes are and how much the scale says I am, but I have never been able to accurately compare my size to someone else I see on the street. Am I bigger or smaller than that person? I would usually ask John to tell me, but never knew if he was being kind or telling the truth. I found out recently that one of my other friends has this same problem.
I assume that this must stem from avoiding having my picture taken and not having a full length mirror in the house until recently. I wonder if I continue to lose and feel more confident that my perceived body image will get more accurate.