Wednesday, October 31, 2007

People are starting to notice

I stopped to the Vets office yesterday to pick up some ear infection medicine. Yeah, three of the seven dogs have a little yeasty ear stuff going on. This stuff knocks it out pretty fast. I haven’t had to take anyone there in about 3 months. (knock on wood). Since we have seven dogs I am there very often, though. I know all of the staff very well.
Yesterday, Emily the technician said, “Oh you look so different….did you do something different to your hair?” Okay, so she didn’t exclaim that I am a shadow of my former self, but she noticed that something was different even if she didn’t know it was weight loss. I know from what other people have told me (especially my mom and close friends) that I have the sparkle back in my eyes and I look happy again. I’m okay with that.

I have always hated running into people I haven’t seen in a long time, I almost can’t focus on the conversation we are having because in the back of my mind I am wondering if they are thinking “oh my god, look how big she has gotten!” I dread family gatherings where the uncle from California is present or anyone else from out of town. I will often feign sickness or say I have to work just to get out of the uncomfortable situation. Isn’t it amazing I am so good at negative self talk that I can also project negative self talk about me into someone else’s head! Now if that doesn’t scream the girl needs therapy I don’t know what does. Now, I look forward to run into people I haven’t seen in a while and not feel self conscious.

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