So this afternoon I threw what I am calling an eating tantrum. From 5 pm to 8 pm I grazed to my hearts content. Good thing I didn’t have anything really good in the house. I stuck with Whole Wheat bread, pork tenderloin off the grill, a skinny cow fudge bar, and a vita muffin, oh and a sugar free pudding. I was pissed off about today’s gain and had that destructive attitude that if I’m going to gain, I may as well eat. I know….stupid.
Interestingly this wasn’t like the old binges. This was the first time I went on an eating spree that I actually carefully weighed and measured everything I ate. I made a mental note of everything I ate and then logged it afterward. The damage really wasn’t bad. I went over my carbs by about 40 grams. Everything else was right in line with what my daily totals are supposed to be. I think the biggest transgression is that I didn’t stay within my 3 hour feedings and instead grazed for three solid hours.
Do I feel better? No. Did this teach me anything? Sort of. I knew I wanted to disobey the rules, but not so much as to do any real damage otherwise I wouldn’t have measured and logged what I ate. Maybe I am changing. But I’m still pissed about the gain.