Monday, September 8, 2008

I'm here

I’m here. Sorry for lack of posts. I’ll catch you all up. First things first. Weigh in report for this past Saturday. I was up 3.6 lbs. I just wasn’t able to undo all the damage I had done the week before. This week is going better. I didn’t say perfect, but better.

The new job is coming along. I’m a bit distraught daily wondering if I did the right thing making the change. It is just so much more restrictive than I ever thought it would be. Now we are not allowed to use the computers or internet for personal use EVEN on our lunch hours or breaks. None, Nada, Never. What the f^ck is up with that? So, now I only have a few minutes in the morning before I leave for work and in the evening to catch up on email, and all things internet related. It is hard to be on the computer when you have seven dogs around you wanting attention and they usually win over the computer.

Today the boss says she is going to have a staff meeting tomorrow morning to talk about dress code. Evidently, the dress code is not set by the county; rather it is set by each department head. So while the office next to ours wears colored jeans and polo shirts with the county logo on them, my boss feels that is too casual (I agree on the colored jeans) and she wants us to dress more professional. I’m anxious to hear what she has to say tomorrow.It just all feels so controlling to me. I swear I catch myself on the verge of tears a few times a day. (Okay, more than a few….)

Tonight my mom reminded me that when I took my last job I did the same thing for more than a month. Crying, questioning if I had done the right thing, wanting to go back to what was easy and familiar. It really helped me when she told me that tonight. I don’t remember hating my last job when I went. My friend said it’s like childbirth; you forget the rough parts during the birth and just remember how it ends.

On a good note, I do think my boss is nice, and I like the other three girls in the office. Once I have a firmer grip on how to do my job, I think it will be varied and interesting enough to keep me awake each day.

So, I’m hanging on, my eating isn’t perfect, but I am praying to at least stay the same on Saturday, and that is all I can muster right now.

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